15.2.07

Mood: Nocturno nº 8, Chopin


Sorry, can't stand the weight of your head
it's much too heavy to my thin feeling groing steady
So I say: “don't stand this close to my shoulder
I might slip something considered as left-over”.
Just couldn't. For sure I wouldn't forgive myself the betrayal
So don't count on me dear friend, just for today.
There is an important meeting to attend
My ashtray and my head on the carpet
I'm in need to set the whole crap to burn
somewhere else to be contained.
I'm eagered to face that one bigger flame
Have to unleash myself from this chewing engine
It's urgent to rewind the pattern
So there you have it. My fabulous days of war
my signed pact, my foolish act
when I'm far from being anything beautiful.
I'm fed up of this ruin climbing up my lungs
this toxic beast deserves no concerns
He’s asking for a furious fight
so I've already aimed my snyper sight
I'm putting this stubborn being on a leash
He'll sense my wrist and that's the least
I've got delayed negotiations with my misbehavior
So I’m screaming loud and late for the blood I once had to clean,
my loving gift far from being seen.
I'm screaming violently for not hitting back
for being so damn elegant, indulgent and polite
I'm screaming all the stuff coloured in black
I’ll easilly burn anything with minimum dust.
For once I'll be making all the fuss
I'm screaming these lungs out to get some room inside
where else could I possibly nest to hide..?
Until I can breathe again coloured blue
until the relieving brings back
the scent
of that earthy smell of you.
It makes me so sick the detoxication
of throwing up fears and denials
Still the bad taste in my tongue.
And the wearyed chill for years of bias.
I need so bad to be good, you see.
No one grabbed innocence as stubbornly as me.
I'm just a tired child inside the large sweater,
Bended knees just for today,
smoking sophisticated solutions into my ordinary ashtray.
Ask for me tomorrow and I'll be again gifted with concern
You won’t even notice I got burned
Just need to stay still for awhile, and not listen
wasting time on the ceiling above.
E
verything else around is too easy to reach
Just need this soft landing in my internal speech.
I’m grounded.




Proper education of anger- How to set fire to all your furniture